They’ve started college,
and Fresher Reality kicks in…

This time last year over 120,000 teenagers were settling in to their last year in 2nd level education and the beginning of what was to be one of the most challenging periods of their lives so far. The energy of exams is building up around them, some of their peers will be handling things quite well and others just getting by as is the way of it.

One of the challenges the students faced over the year was choosing some form of a career path, doing psychometric testing and being analysed as to their suitability to different careers if they were lucky, for some it’s the beginning of a dream for so many others it’s a time of winging it as they are yet to figure the whole thing out. They have no idea what so ever what they want to be, what they want to do and the other big question, who are they?, what makes them tick…the things that many adults still struggle with.

At some stage during the year this group of 6th years will have discussed options with their friends, their parents and with anyone else who just assumed this 17, 18 or 19 year old knew what they wanted to do. There would have been pressure as to what college they were going to attend for so many, there would have been expectation and let’s face it the culture of one-upmanship and in some cases maybe sensing judgement from some people about where they are going to go to college and what it said about them.

So the year is full of build up’s of different energies and expectations and hopes, they may have got their place in College and are now finding themselves for the first time away from home and having to navigate new buildings, new expectations, travel arrangements, finances and making new friends. So many will thrive in this environment and there are literally so many others right now who are struggling, perhaps putting on a brave face not really getting on very well from a wellbeing and mental health perspective.

Now is the time to connect and keep connecting with the young people in your life, check in with them find out how they are getting on, ask them what is working well, ask them what are they having to tolerate, ask them could anything be made easier for them, is there any way you can help?

Now is not the time to shy away from issues, if you sense something is not right, ask. Often times we all just need to talk, tease things out, hear ourselves say something out loud. Our young people have the answers in themselves and sometimes they just need to be asked the question by someone they trust. How are you doing?

How can coaching help?

Having worked with a number of college Freshers over the last few weeks I’m noticing some commonalities that seem to be popping up, one recurring challenge has been students feeling embarrassed by loneliness and the things they are doing to disguise it from their peers.  So many of us hide behind our phones when we have to spend time in public, we scroll aimlessly, we might do quizzes,  people pretending to be speaking to someone just to get out of awkward situation.  Without realising sometimes our phone habit is the very thing that is holding us back from making friends, instead of appearing approachable we are just another person scrolling on a phone, appearing to be busy but behind the apperances is a person just wanting someone to hang out with.

I can help you with this and other challenges with Resilience Coaching, we will troubleshoot the many possible issues that might be going on for you right now and come up with some strategies to help alleviate the pressure you feel or to help reframe the problems into opportunities.  We might do Strengths Coaching to discover how you could use your own personal strengths (that you may or may not be aware of) to help with your current challenges.  We can also use Values Coaching methods to delve in to your own personal value system, this can be a wonderful opportunity to help you navigate your new world, to reveal what it is that makes you tick so that you can make good decisions and work towards happiness and personal fulfilment.  If this sounds like something you would be interested in I would love to hear from you.

Please know this one thing, this is a rite of passage and thousands before you have had to go through the same experience, coaching can help you get the edge on this new adventure.

I work with older Adults too btw, we all need coaching.

Aisling O’Donoghue
Adv Dip Mental Health & Wellbeing Coach
Dip Hyp Reg. Cert.